With 2 days until Thanksgiving đŚ I decided to pick a snack that had a holiday feel to it this week, Sweet Potato Rounds with Herbed Ricotta and Walnuts. Continuing the holiday spirit, two things I am grateful for are handwritten letters and creating new family traditions, what are two things YOU are grateful for today?
2 to 3 large sweet potatoes sliced into Ÿ-inch rounds
1 Tbsp avocado oil
1 pinch ground cinnamon
1 pinch salt
Herbed Ricotta:
1 cup whole milk ricotta cheese
1-½ tsp Italian seasoning
1 Tbsp + 1 tsp honey
Âź tsp sea salt or to taste
For Serving:
1 cup raw walnuts roasted and chopped
ž cup dried cranberries
honey
Instructions
Add all of the ingredients for the herbed ricotta to a small bowl and stir well to combine. Refrigerate until ready to use.
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Add the sweet potato slices to a large mixing bowl and drizzle with avocado oil. Sprinkle sea salt and ground cinnamon over rounds. Use your hands to rub the oil and seasoning on both sides of the sweet potato rounds. Arrange rounds on a large baking sheet (or two if necessary). Bake for 20 minutes. Flip the rounds, then bake for another 17 to 20 minutes, or until rounds are cooked through and crispy on the edges
Spread walnuts on a baking sheet. 10 minutes before the potato rounds are finished cooking, place the walnuts in the oven to roast.
Remove sweet potato rounds and walnuts from the oven. Place walnuts on a cutting board and chop.
Place oven on high broil setting and move the oven wrack second to the top shelf. Place a dollop of herbed ricotta on each sweet potato round and place in the oven for 2 minutes, just until ricotta is melty and warm.
Add chopped walnuts and dried cranberries to the rounds. Drizzle with honey and serve!
âAnd acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situationâsome fact of my lifeâunacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in Godâs world by mistake. Until I could accept life completely in lifeâs terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.â
-Page 417 of the Big Book
The sun was starting to set as we pulled into the parking lot. It was still warm for a day in January for Colorado, and the smell of chili from Wendys was wafting through the air. We walked across the parking lot to the only part of the strip mall still lit up. As I pulled open the door and entered the building, âwhat an eclectic groupâ crossed my mind, as my eyes surveyed men and women aging from 20 to 80 from every race. A very nice man introduced himself to me and my partner, he included that he wanted to make us feel at home. It had been about 6 months since I had been to an AA meeting. This was a new one, closer to home, and I was excited to see what the vibe was. The room smelled of coffee as we chose some seats by the front door. The walls were covered in art, the AA steps and traditions, and several other quotes. One of my favorite read, âThereâs nothing that bad that a drink canât make worse.â Ainât that the truth?
 We began with the reading above from page 417 of the big book â and I knew I was in the right place at the right time. This was the message that I needed to hear. Acceptance. Why is Acceptance so hard to do? Later in the reading it states âThere is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me and about you, I am complaining about Godâs handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.â Wow! Huh?!
When situations happen that I think are the worst ever or not fair, I start to question the universe and what the hell itâs trying to do. The funny part is, times when I feel the universe is out to get me- always end up being blessings in disguise. Times I was arrested â times I was in jail â times I was court ordered to rehab. These are times I am now SO grateful for. Had I not been arrested I wouldnât have changed my ways and would probably be 6 feet under at the rate I was going. Jail taught me to be grateful for breathing fresh air, ability to eat healthy, and the beauty of turning on and off your own light â things that before that experience I most definitely took for granted. And lastly, rehab. It took me nearly 9 months to even realize that I had a problem, to really accept what I had become.
Through this acceptance I found strength and willpower to change, to make my life better. Since I have changed, the blessings I have received have been infinite. I can utilize my strengths in recovery to help other individuals going through similar circumstances. I have accepted myself and can now follow the path I was meant to. Still acceptance can be difficult, the mind is tricky and when you donât pay attention it can get the best of you. Even in sobriety I donât always accept myself or others. I tell myself Iâm not good enough, I have crazy expectations for my partner, and I let it really bum me out if a friend gets called in to work and must bail on plans (like they can control that, ha!). These feelings and thoughts do not infiltrate my mind every day, but they still do sometimes. This brings gratitude beyond words for AA â as it reminds me to how to live. How to survive all the crazy life has to offer and not revert to using substances to cope.
I am sharing this in hopes for whomever reads it, that you find some acceptance today. Find acceptance in yourself, in your lover, in your parents, in your children, in your friends, in your coworker, in the idiot driving slow in the left lane, and the crazy one driving fast in the right lane. Accept life on lifeâs terms. You are the only one standing in-between you and happiness. Get out the way!
Itâs done. It feels so bizarre when A LOT of time frees up suddenly. These past 5 months I have been finishing my bachelorâs degree in Nutrition. Three classes were independent study, this means you sign up for the class and you have up to one year to finish it at your own pace. In my case, to qualify for the grants and loans I received I had to finish them within the semester. The problem with self-study classes is getting the ambition to get the work.67 done. Itâs so easy to distract yourself if there is something to clean or a friend to hang out with. Yet I couldnât live in the present. Every time I was âdistractingâ myself, the little voice in my head was disappointed with me.
It was a wild ride, but I did it. I managed to get everything turned in on time, passed my classes with mostly Aâs and a B, and I should be receiving my degree in the mail next monthâŚYay me!
Now I feel like Iâm twiddling my thumbs ⌠I donât know what to do with all this time. Itâs been so long, I almost forgot what I enjoy doing. These last 10 days have been a roller coaster. The first week I was hit with a myriad of emotions. Everything that I had been suppressing for the last 5 months. It was overwhelming to say the least. Another moment of feeling a little ashamed at having not processed anything and letting it build up â I know better than that especially in a life of recovery.
Day 10, life is evening out. Still not sure what direction to go – looks like it should be back to basics. Sometimes we lose ourselves, in whatever it might be; the important aspect is the bounce back.
Breathing in inspiration, Exhaling disappointment. Breathing in perseverance, Exhaling self-defeating thoughts. Breathing in hope, Exhaling gratitude. Releasing with three sighs, knowing I am now connected to the Divine and am ready to step on my path.
Here is to remembering how to live in the âNOWâ with happiness â Cheers!
The ebb and flow of change is sometimes hard to cope with. When the story doesn’t go as you imagined and it doesnt seem to be in your favor. It sure is hard to see the light sometimes, collecting our blessings and lessons gathered from realizations of experiences with positive or negative outcomes.
If you are currently unhappy or upset about a thought, feeling, or consequence
Change it.
Easier said then done. Although, different perspectives can drastically shift the emotion attached to particular thoughts. For instance, a lover’s quarrel seems miniscule in comparison to a friend being diagnosed with cancer. Sometimes all it takes is a change of scenery to secure a different outlook on your current situation. Sometimes I look at pictures of puppies and kitties for sale on craigslist – it always seems to make me smile. Perhaps I will sit down and watch a comedy or a documentary or a guided meditation. Today I decided to try something new….
It was both terrifying and magical to walk through the tropical forest at The Butterfly Pavilion. So scared I may step on one, yet watching them flutter around and zip past my head was breathtaking. They freaked me out when they came zooming for my head, of course it always resulted in a soft giggle to myself for being frightened of something so silly.
One of these delicate creatures landed on my journal this afternoon, while staring up at me with its glossy eyes, it smiled and reminded me to see the bigger picture. Change can be complicated, terrifying, magical, breathtaking, humbling, fast, silly, and simple all at the same time.
Butterflies are not afraid of the unknown and whimsically dance through the forecast of fear to fully live in the now. There is an innate beauty in the finishing of a process, a completion of a step, and the excitement of the unknown future. To go boldly, genuinely, and with love is the greatest gift one can give. Always keeping in mind “Everything is going to be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.
I went to a CA meeting on New Year’s Eve. The gentleman sharing was 21 years old. He had 5 years clean. I instantly judged him as not credible. He didn’t have enough experience. He didn’t have enough to lose.
Then he said something that instantly made me feel terrible about my judgments. “It doesn’t matter if you hit rock bottom or not we are all here for the same reason.” We go to meetings because we have a problem, we keep it anonymous to not be judged, we all agree we need help and that we cannot stay clean doing it alone.Â
I felt horrible for having that initial thought, but that’s the point right? To catch ourselves if we do something wrong, recognize the error, and make it right. I realized this initial thought was silly based on one of my own beliefs. You only hit rock bottom when you die, if you are still alive there is still room for improvement. If you aren’t alive, you never have a chance to make things right. It doesn’t take a major life event to open your eyes to your addiction or a developing addiction. Sometimes all it takes is a realization that alcohol or drugs are causing you more pain then the pain you aim to escape from. Meetings are to give hope, to know you’re not alone, and something greater can help you conquer your addiction in despair.Â
Pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth. It is important to stop pursuing whatever your idea of perfection is, you will never be happy if you aim for such an ideal. Find beauty in the littlr things. Happiness is appreciating what you have, not getting what you want.
Sobriety is a journey not a destination. I am excited to see what 2018 has in store for me!
This week has been rough emotionally for me. No reason why. Just sad. Maybe the solar flares a couple days ago had an effect? Perhaps mercury retrograde is placing a spin on things? Could be the stress from the holidays and scrambling to get the âappropriateâ gifts for everyone. Either way, sometimes these âemotional funksâ come and it can be impossible to leave your bed.
Occasionally they pass, and other times you must pull yourself out. The best way I have found to do this is by re-accessing my goals and making sure I am still on the path to achieving them and remembering what I am grateful for.
Today I put a little Donatello Ninja figurine at my desk. Although this action may look as though I am trying to preserve my youth, it has a deeper representation for me. The name Donatello has Latin, Italian, and Spanish roots and means âGifts or Given from Godâ. Placed on my desk today as a reminder to hold gratitude for all the gifts we already have, counting all the blessings that continually enter my life.
Elevating Balance 