Musings – Elevating Balance

Minimalism and Christmas?

November 18, 2022January 6, 2023Leave a comment

How do these two things coincide?

I wouldn’t call myself a minimalist, but I have been following several minimalist moms on Instagram as an inspiration. After being a domestic engineer for 3+ years, I am so tired of feeling like I am constantly cleaning. One insta-mom said that if it takes you more than 20 minutes to tidy a room you have too many things. And I believe it!

From clothes, toys, and other randoms, we had too much stuff. I went through our family’s clothes and filled 4 trash bags full, and recently another one full of shoes. If I haven’t seen Chris or myself wear said shoes in the last 5 years they need to go, with the exception of a pair of black dress shoes for both of us. We also donated a box of other random things like toys, purses, an air purifier, and a wifi extender. I went through the house and thinned out my plant collection and now have at least 15 sitting on my kitchen table to be given away in the next few days. I am selling the items that I think I can get more than $20 for.

About a year or more ago I was really into watching Marie Kondo when I needed cleaning inspo, after watching and listening over and over I’ve slowly been letting things go. Last year I got rid of almost every book I own besides 3 to 5 I hadn’t read yet. I haven’t missed a single one of them since (nor have I read the books that I kept, whoops). This doesn’t mean I want to get rid of everything though. We thought we were going to move in May and so I started packing a lot of decorations or other things we don’t use. There was a change of plan and said items were in the box for a couple months. I unpacked them in August and the decorations brought me such joy putting them back around the house, so like I said, I don’t think I will be a minimalist, but having less is the new thing I am striving for every day.

This puts me in a pickle for Christmas. Of course I want to give my daughter something but I don’t want more items in my house. The insta-moms I mentioned earlier suggest consumables and experience gifts. I also like the idea of “Something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read” and doing 4 gifts. I thought maybe I would get her a stuffed tiger and zoo tickets, but I don’t want more stuffed animals in my house. Perhaps a butterfly craft and butterfly pavilion tickets? I’d love to get her snowboarding stuff for Christmas, but she’ll need it all in 2ish weeks, so that won’t work. I can’t wait until she likes sitting through manis and pedis – because that will be a no-brainer treat for both of us haha. Until then, I will continue this debate with myself on what the heck to get my darling daughter and husband. Do you have any suggestions? Leave them in the comments!

Hibernation Unit

November 15, 2022November 15, 2022Leave a comment

September 14th Malia and I met some friends down at Roxborough State Park to hike Fountain Valley Trail. The amount of bear poop on the trail was astonishing, I had never seen so much poop. I mean, it made sense, if I was eating 20,000 calories a day, well you know.

It wasn’t far down the trail that we ended up seeing two bears in a tree! It was a really neat experience, we were able to snap some pictures and videos and keep hiking. The bears were much more concerned about their snacks than us. This inspired our hibernation unit.

I put together 3 part Montessori Cards of the animals that hibernate in Colorado and I would love to share them with you!

Click here for Hibernation 3 part cards.

No plans November

November 14, 2022Leave a comment

Anyone else feel burnt out from all the activities over summer? I am. Some people are planners, but I am not one of them. I prefer to go with the flow and decide what to do day of. For the sake of my toddler getting some socialization we have been busy doing playdates multiple times a week since Spring. I am burnt out. I need a break from making plans. How do you tell your friends you don’t want to hang out, without hurting their feelings?

I am not sure either. So here we are, almost halfway through November and I have done fantastic with my No plan- plan, I guess I got lucky with colds and a Montessori conference, but I think I am to the point I will just have to say something and hope my dear friends do not take it personal. We have gone out to eat once with another family – but that was planned and arranged by my husband, so still on track with my weird goal.

Today’s world has me feeling like I must be depressed if I don’t want to hang out with people, but I don’t feel that way. I really enjoy alone time and embracing a season of rest, decluttering, cleansing, and reset. We aren’t being completely antisocial either. We have been to the playground several times and Malia always manages to make a friend and I end up talking to said friend’s mom. Perhaps in these conversation, the inner questions will unfold and be answered.

I feel like my soul is calling out to slow down, sit alone with my thoughts, conserve energy, and deal with one thing at a time, as I follow the prompts from within. Planning doesn’t allow me to be as present. Most of the summer felt like a race of cleaning, teaching, hiking, and errands. Winter is a wonderful time to slow down and breath. When you hike down a snow covered trail, the peaceful-serene feeling is inexplicable. I can’t clear my head on a hike if someone else is walking beside me talking, which is why I prefer to go alone. It’s my therapy. Anybody else need alone time to reset?

In honor of being more present this month, I am sticking to No Plans November. You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, and let go and see what happens. Que Sera, Sera.

Forgetting to be Present.

May 14, 2018June 26, 2018Leave a comment

It’s done. It feels so bizarre when A LOT of time frees up suddenly. These past 5 months I have been finishing my bachelor’s degree in Nutrition. Three classes were independent study, this means you sign up for the class and you have up to one year to finish it at your own pace. In my case, to qualify for the grants and loans I received I had to finish them within the semester. The problem with self-study classes is getting the ambition to get the work.67 done. It’s so easy to distract yourself if there is something to clean or a friend to hang out with. Yet I couldn’t live in the present. Every time I was ‘distracting’ myself, the little voice in my head was disappointed with me.

It was a wild ride, but I did it. I managed to get everything turned in on time, passed my classes with mostly A’s and a B, and I should be receiving my degree in the mail next month…Yay me!

Now I feel like I’m twiddling my thumbs … I don’t know what to do with all this time. It’s been so long, I almost forgot what I enjoy doing. These last 10 days have been a roller coaster. The first week I was hit with a myriad of emotions. Everything that I had been suppressing for the last 5 months. It was overwhelming to say the least. Another moment of feeling a little ashamed at having not processed anything and letting it build up – I know better than that especially in a life of recovery.

Day 10, life is evening out. Still not sure what direction to go – looks like it should be back to basics. Sometimes we lose ourselves, in whatever it might be; the important aspect is the bounce back.

Breathing in inspiration, Exhaling disappointment. Breathing in perseverance, Exhaling self-defeating thoughts. Breathing in hope, Exhaling gratitude. Releasing with three sighs, knowing I am now connected to the Divine and am ready to step on my path.

Here is to remembering how to live in the “NOW” with happiness – Cheers!

Ocean Waves

February 6, 2018February 6, 2018Leave a comment

The ebb and flow of change is sometimes hard to cope with. When the story doesn’t go as you imagined and it doesnt seem to be in your favor. It sure is hard to see the light sometimes, collecting our blessings and lessons gathered from realizations of experiences with positive or negative outcomes.

If you are currently unhappy or upset about a thought, feeling, or consequence

Change it.

Easier said then done. Although, different perspectives can drastically shift the emotion attached to particular thoughts. For instance, a lover’s quarrel seems miniscule in comparison to a friend being diagnosed with cancer. Sometimes all it takes is a change of scenery to secure a different outlook on your current situation. Sometimes I look at pictures of puppies and kitties for sale on craigslist – it always seems to make me smile. Perhaps I will sit down and watch a comedy or a documentary or a guided meditation. Today I decided to try something new….

It was both terrifying and magical to walk through the tropical forest at The Butterfly Pavilion. So scared I may step on one, yet watching them flutter around and zip past my head was breathtaking. They freaked me out when they came zooming for my head, of course it always resulted in a soft giggle to myself for being frightened of something so silly.

One of these delicate creatures landed on my journal this afternoon, while staring up at me with its glossy eyes, it smiled and reminded me to see the bigger picture. Change can be complicated, terrifying, magical, breathtaking, humbling, fast, silly, and simple all at the same time.

Butterflies are not afraid of the unknown and whimsically dance through the forecast of fear to fully live in the now. There is an innate beauty in the finishing of a process, a completion of a step, and the excitement of the unknown future. To go boldly, genuinely, and with love is the greatest gift one can give. Always keeping in mind “Everything is going to be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.

❤

Contradicting Thoughts and Realizations

January 2, 2018January 2, 2018Leave a comment

I went to a CA meeting on New Year’s Eve. The gentleman sharing was 21 years old. He had 5 years clean. I instantly judged him as not credible. He didn’t have enough experience. He didn’t have enough to lose.

Then he said something that instantly made me feel terrible about my judgments. “It doesn’t matter if you hit rock bottom or not we are all here for the same reason.” We go to meetings because we have a problem, we keep it anonymous to not be judged, we all agree we need help and that we cannot stay clean doing it alone.

I felt horrible for having that initial thought, but that’s the point right? To catch ourselves if we do something wrong, recognize the error, and make it right. I realized this initial thought was silly based on one of my own beliefs. You only hit rock bottom when you die, if you are still alive there is still room for improvement. If you aren’t alive, you never have a chance to make things right. It doesn’t take a major life event to open your eyes to your addiction or a developing addiction. Sometimes all it takes is a realization that alcohol or drugs are causing you more pain then the pain you aim to escape from. Meetings are to give hope, to know you’re not alone, and something greater can help you conquer your addiction in despair.

Pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth. It is important to stop pursuing whatever your idea of perfection is, you will never be happy if you aim for such an ideal. Find beauty in the littlr things. Happiness is appreciating what you have, not getting what you want.

Sobriety is a journey not a destination. I am excited to see what 2018 has in store for me!

#alwaysgettingbetter

Donatello, The Reminder.

December 20, 2017December 20, 2017Leave a comment

Just breath.

In.

And.

Out.

Repeat.

This week has been rough emotionally for me. No reason why. Just sad. Maybe the solar flares a couple days ago had an effect? Perhaps mercury retrograde is placing a spin on things? Could be the stress from the holidays and scrambling to get the “appropriate” gifts for everyone. Either way, sometimes these “emotional funks” come and it can be impossible to leave your bed.

Occasionally they pass, and other times you must pull yourself out. The best way I have found to do this is by re-accessing my goals and making sure I am still on the path to achieving them and remembering what I am grateful for.

Today I put a little Donatello Ninja figurine at my desk. Although this action may look as though I am trying to preserve my youth, it has a deeper representation for me. The name Donatello has Latin, Italian, and Spanish roots and means “Gifts or Given from God”. Placed on my desk today as a reminder to hold gratitude for all the gifts we already have, counting all the blessings that continually enter my life.

Mercury Retrograde – Is it all that bad?

November 28, 2017September 27, 2017Leave a comment

Mercury goes retrograde this Sunday, the 3rd … Sure, you shouldn’t travel, communication with others will be a little off, and your electronics may go on the brink a few times. Yet within this phase there are also some benefits that shouldn’t be overlooked.

1.It’s easier to change your habits
In conjunction with the full moon on Tuesday letting go of any unpleasant habits will be twice as strong. The universe is empowering you to let go of what no longer serves you to make room for situations that compliment your goals. Not sure where to start? Choose a substitute for your bad habit, cut out as many triggers as possible, join forces with somebody, surround yourself with people who are living the life you want, visualize yourself succeeding, use positive affirmations daily.

2.A little introspection goes a long way to getting clarity
Take a little time for yourself; take a bath, read a book, journal, meditate. In today’s world, there are so many distractions and ideas coming at us from all angles. Every time I check my phone there are at least 5 new notifications for 3 different apps. Take some time for you. When is the last time you stepped away from distractions and just contemplated and self-assessed? Besides – electronics will be whack today anyway – so do yourself a favor and enjoy a little nature time.

3.New mantras adopted during mercury retrograde are super-powered
Mantras, affirmations, declarations, oh my! Whatever route you decide to go, now is the time. Super-power that self talk in a positive direction. My favorite mantra is “Aham Prema” I am divine love. This mantra affirms one’s divine love energy within, creating the highest essence of love. Help up your self-worth by repeating this mantra 108 times daily for the next 40 days. You can also use other mantras or positive affirmations, do what feels right for you. Shoot, by time you’re done Mercury will be out of retrograde!

4.Your creativity is off the charts
How do express your creativity? Do you paint, draw, doodle, journal, write a poem, write a book, scrapbook, take photos, dance, sing, sculpting, build something, design jewelry, crafts, make a candle or soap, garden, cook, make music, sew, knit, quilting, crocheting, and the list goes on. There are many ways to be creative and pick up hobbies. Find one that calls to you and simply begin.

5.You’re more intuitive
Your intuition will be firing on all cylinders during this phase. Test it out and nourish it. Here are a few ideas to do so.

Work directly with intuition – Find a comfortable seat. Follow your breath counting 1 on the inhale and 2 on the exhale. When you are relaxed identify an event or situation you’d like more insight about. Focus on that intently for a few minutes. Ask for a direct intuitive experience about it in the near future. -be in this moment – Let it go.
Work with indirect intuition – Get a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Ask yourself, “what does my life need right now?” three times in a row, pausing between each question. Imagine you are going toward a more meaningful answer each time you ask. When you have finished asking, pick up your pen and draw one symbol on your paper. Interpret this symbol. What does it suggest you add, subtract, or enjoy from your life?
Learn to look for and pay attention to intuition’s subtly messages – Invest in your sixth sense. Imagine that your eyes, ears, hands, skin, emotions, and intellect could stretch out into the invisible world and captures sensations, information, inspiration, knowledge, and wisdom like a cable or cellphone captures invisible waves of sound and images. Let yourself walk through your day sensitive to other dimensions.
Choose a sense to work with – Make a date with yourself on your calendar and allow 2-3 hours. When the time comes, get in your car or other mode of transportation without knowing where you are going. Resist the first few ‘ideas’ you have about where you are going. Wait for the idea that makes your body very relaxed. Your body is the best barometer of what is right – if your choice arises from intuition, you will experience inner stillness, silence, and knowing it is right.

So Mercury Retrograde isn’t so bad – yet to be on the safe side here are some crystals to help ease the transition.

Sponsorship

October 20, 2017October 24, 2017Leave a comment

I went to an AA meeting last night and the topic was sponsorship…. I still have yet to get a sponsor and start practicing the steps. NA and AA aren’t my major routes of maintaining a clean, productive life. I instead take a different path – as my lawyer once told a judge, she marches to the beat of a different drum.

I instead emerge myself in activities that I love, that I find joy in. I continually make goals for myself to achieve. I expand my network of people in sobriety as often as I can. Community is important. When you are walking this path, it is a necessity to have people to reach out to. Life is busy. When one doesn’t answer, you go to the next name on the list. Persistence pays off, once persistent to catch a high – now to avoid it.

I like the idea of having a sponsor – I think it would be more beneficial to have 5 though. ha 🙂 I think one of the coolest things about being in the scene is the level of brutal honesty that comes with it. The best kind of friends do not tell you what you want to hear – they tell you what you need to hear, similar to a sponsor I would imagine.

It is a beautiful feeling to have experienced everything I have and to be where I am today. To get to a point of gratitude and acceptance for the all the bad decisions I ever made, all of the terrible things that have happened, and the amount of change that evokes within.

You never know when a story you tell can be the perfect seed to help the garden sprout. Do not hold yourself back from telling yours, every chance you get. I believe everyone marches to their own drumbeat, picking up ideas from every avenue and putting them in practice, until one finds what works for them.

Without Change There Would Be No Butterflies

September 23, 2017September 24, 2017Leave a comment

Butterflies have held symbolism in many cultures for centuries, mainly representing endurance, change, hope, and life. How suiting that this lovely creature decided to fly inside, to say ‘Hi’ at a celebration representing change, hope, and resilience.

Friday night was a celebration of overcoming the obstacle of addiction. Addiction is a side effect of anxiety, emotional, and physical traumas. The butterfly fluttering in was a great representation to remember the great endeavors we have overcome in life. It takes a lot of willpower and continuing hard work to maintain a life of sobriety. I wouldn’t be where I am today with out the support of my family and friends; living in a state of gratitude every day I wake up.

The Christian religion looks at the butterfly as a symbol of resurrection. Resurrection into a truer you. Powerful transformation, metamorphosis in your life, moving through different life cycles, renewal, and rebirth – I am using this evening’s visit as a refresher. A reminder that it is important to keep sight of your goals and keep pushing for what you want out of life.

Always. Taking. Steps. Forward.

Category: Musings