Category: Healing

No plans November

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Anyone else feel burnt out from all the activities over summer? I am. Some people are planners, but I am not one of them. I prefer to go with the flow and decide what to do day of. For the sake of my toddler getting some socialization we have been busy doing playdates multiple times a week since Spring. I am burnt out. I need a break from making plans. How do you tell your friends you don’t want to hang out, without hurting their feelings?

I am not sure either. So here we are, almost halfway through November and I have done fantastic with my No plan- plan, I guess I got lucky with colds and a Montessori conference, but I think I am to the point I will just have to say something and hope my dear friends do not take it personal. We have gone out to eat once with another family – but that was planned and arranged by my husband, so still on track with my weird goal.

Today’s world has me feeling like I must be depressed if I don’t want to hang out with people, but I don’t feel that way. I really enjoy alone time and embracing a season of rest, decluttering, cleansing, and reset. We aren’t being completely antisocial either. We have been to the playground several times and Malia always manages to make a friend and I end up talking to said friend’s mom. Perhaps in these conversation, the inner questions will unfold and be answered.

I feel like my soul is calling out to slow down, sit alone with my thoughts, conserve energy, and deal with one thing at a time, as I follow the prompts from within. Planning doesn’t allow me to be as present. Most of the summer felt like a race of cleaning, teaching, hiking, and errands. Winter is a wonderful time to slow down and breath. When you hike down a snow covered trail, the peaceful-serene feeling is inexplicable. I can’t clear my head on a hike if someone else is walking beside me talking, which is why I prefer to go alone. It’s my therapy. Anybody else need alone time to reset?

In honor of being more present this month, I am sticking to No Plans November. You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, and let go and see what happens. Que Sera, Sera.

Acceptance.

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“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept life completely in life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

-Page 417 of the Big Book

The sun was starting to set as we pulled into the parking lot. It was still warm for a day in January for Colorado, and the smell of chili from Wendys was wafting through the air. We walked across the parking lot to the only part of the strip mall still lit up. As I pulled open the door and entered the building, ‘what an eclectic group’ crossed my mind, as my eyes surveyed men and women aging from 20 to 80 from every race. A very nice man introduced himself to me and my partner, he included that he wanted to make us feel at home. It had been about 6 months since I had been to an AA meeting. This was a new one, closer to home, and I was excited to see what the vibe was. The room smelled of coffee as we chose some seats by the front door. The walls were covered in art, the AA steps and traditions, and several other quotes. One of my favorite read, “There’s nothing that bad that a drink can’t make worse.” Ain’t that the truth?

 We began with the reading above from page 417 of the big book – and I knew I was in the right place at the right time. This was the message that I needed to hear. Acceptance. Why is Acceptance so hard to do? Later in the reading it states “There is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me and about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.” Wow! Huh?!

When situations happen that I think are the worst ever or not fair, I start to question the universe and what the hell it’s trying to do. The funny part is, times when I feel the universe is out to get me- always end up being blessings in disguise. Times I was arrested – times I was in jail – times I was court ordered to rehab. These are times I am now SO grateful for. Had I not been arrested I wouldn’t have changed my ways and would probably be 6 feet under at the rate I was going. Jail taught me to be grateful for breathing fresh air, ability to eat healthy, and the beauty of turning on and off your own light – things that before that experience I most definitely took for granted. And lastly, rehab. It took me nearly 9 months to even realize that I had a problem, to really accept what I had become.

Through this acceptance I found strength and willpower to change, to make my life better. Since I have changed, the blessings I have received have been infinite. I can utilize my strengths in recovery to help other individuals going through similar circumstances. I have accepted myself and can now follow the path I was meant to. Still acceptance can be difficult, the mind is tricky and when you don’t pay attention it can get the best of you. Even in sobriety I don’t always accept myself or others. I tell myself I’m not good enough, I have crazy expectations for my partner, and I let it really bum me out if a friend gets called in to work and must bail on plans (like they can control that, ha!). These feelings and thoughts do not infiltrate my mind every day, but they still do sometimes. This brings gratitude beyond words for AA – as it reminds me to how to live. How to survive all the crazy life has to offer and not revert to using substances to cope.

I am sharing this in hopes for whomever reads it, that you find some acceptance today. Find acceptance in yourself, in your lover, in your parents, in your children, in your friends, in your coworker, in the idiot driving slow in the left lane, and the crazy one driving fast in the right lane. Accept life on life’s terms. You are the only one standing in-between you and happiness. Get out the way!

Forgetting to be Present.

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It’s done. It feels so bizarre when A LOT of time frees up suddenly. These past 5 months I have been finishing my bachelor’s degree in Nutrition. Three classes were independent study, this means you sign up for the class and you have up to one year to finish it at your own pace. In my case, to qualify for the grants and loans I received I had to finish them within the semester. The problem with self-study classes is getting the ambition to get the work.67 done. It’s so easy to distract yourself if there is something to clean or a friend to hang out with. Yet I couldn’t live in the present. Every time I was ‘distracting’ myself, the little voice in my head was disappointed with me.

It was a wild ride, but I did it. I managed to get everything turned in on time, passed my classes with mostly A’s and a B, and I should be receiving my degree in the mail next month…Yay me!

Now I feel like I’m twiddling my thumbs … I don’t know what to do with all this time. It’s been so long, I almost forgot what I enjoy doing. These last 10 days have been a roller coaster. The first week I was hit with a myriad of emotions. Everything that I had been suppressing for the last 5 months. It was overwhelming to say the least. Another moment of feeling a little ashamed at having not processed anything and letting it build up – I know better than that especially in a life of recovery.

Day 10, life is evening out. Still not sure what direction to go – looks like it should be back to basics. Sometimes we lose ourselves, in whatever it might be; the important aspect is the bounce back.

Breathing in inspiration, Exhaling disappointment. Breathing in perseverance, Exhaling self-defeating thoughts. Breathing in hope, Exhaling gratitude. Releasing with three sighs, knowing I am now connected to the Divine and am ready to step on my path.

Here is to remembering how to live in the “NOW” with happiness – Cheers!

Ocean Waves

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The ebb and flow of change is sometimes hard to cope with. When the story doesn’t go as you imagined and it doesnt seem to be in your favor. It sure is hard to see the light sometimes, collecting our blessings and lessons gathered from realizations of experiences with positive or negative outcomes.

If you are currently unhappy or upset about a thought, feeling, or consequence

Change it.

Easier said then done. Although, different perspectives can drastically shift the emotion attached to particular thoughts. For instance, a lover’s quarrel seems miniscule in comparison to a friend being diagnosed with cancer. Sometimes all it takes is a change of scenery to secure a different outlook on your current situation. Sometimes I look at pictures of puppies and kitties for sale on craigslist – it always seems to make me smile. Perhaps I will sit down and watch a comedy or a documentary or a guided meditation. Today I decided to try something new….

It was both terrifying and magical to walk through the tropical forest at The Butterfly Pavilion. So scared I may step on one, yet watching them flutter around and zip past my head was breathtaking. They freaked me out when they came zooming for my head, of course it always resulted in a soft giggle to myself for being frightened of something so silly.

One of these delicate creatures landed on my journal this afternoon, while staring up at me with its glossy eyes, it smiled and reminded me to see the bigger picture. Change can be complicated, terrifying, magical, breathtaking, humbling, fast, silly, and simple all at the same time.

Butterflies are not afraid of the unknown and whimsically dance through the forecast of fear to fully live in the now. There is an innate beauty in the finishing of a process, a completion of a step, and the excitement of the unknown future. To go boldly, genuinely, and with love is the greatest gift one can give. Always keeping in mind “Everything is going to be OK in the end. If it’s not OK, it’s not the end.

❤

Best Crystals for Travel

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Last week was one of the biggest gem shows in Colorado. I am not sure if it is fortunate or unfortunate that I cannot go without spending at least $500 every year. I thought I was doing well this year only spending $100, then the next day I spent another $300 and work traded $500 worth…oops. #sorrynotsorry

This year I had a different goal in mind. Generally, when I go I try to get items I don’t have yet or that I am really drawn to for meditating purposes. This year my goal was to pick out some small crystals that will help for traveling! I read over a few different blogs to see what other people thought was best. Then I made a list of ideas of what I wanted from the trip, some of those being abundance, divine guidance, confidence, emotional balance, healing, opportunity, problem solving, protection, and strength.

With the help of my handy dandy crystal book this is the list I came up with:

  • Malachite – Malachite is a guardian stone, it is said that if danger is looming it will shatter into pieces. Promotes leadership, enhances creativity, provides protection, and encourages confidence. It is also a stone of transformation, bring positive transformation to the wearer.
  • Sunstone – Benevolence, strength, abundance of blessings. Has a connection to the sun, holding its power within. This stone of luck permeates a special shine and boosts vitality.
  • Citrine – Manifestation, personal will, mental clarity, creativity. Inspires self-discipline and willpower, attracting professional success and wealth.
  • Bloodstone – Strength, courage, purification, vitality. Legend says that Bloodstone was first formed at Christ’s crucifixion by drops of blood staining the stones at the foot of the cross. Its grounding, fatigue, and irritability combating qualities also make it a strong stone for women to level out emotions.
  • Labradorite – Magic, protection. Properties heighten intuition and improve psychic abilities. It balances and protects the aura, preventing energetic leaks.
  • Rhodonite – Discovering and developing hidden talents, compassion, love, generosity, altruism. It is a stone that helps prevent arguing and bickering allowing one to see both sides of the situation.
  • Moonstone – Mystery, self-discovery, intuition, insight, dreams, the goddess, soothing, and helps with digestion. Moonstone is excellent to put in your luggage to ensure that it does not get lost.
  • Amethyst – Protection, purification, and release of addictions. Amethyst opens and activates the crown chakra, allowing the divine connection to thrive.
  • Lapis Lazuli – Inner vision, truthful communication, royal virtues. Helps to look at situations objectively. Reminds us of the power of the spoken word, fosters full verbal expression and clears problems caused by “swallowing your tongue.” Lapis Lazuli encourages clear expression when sharing information with others, including easier communication of anger.
  • Selenite – To clear and charge the other stones, it also breaks any negative attachments that may be looming on one. Calms, brings deep peace and mental clarity.
  • Shungite – Russians have been using this stone for years to purify their water. Besides purifying, this stone is excellent for counteracting negative electromagnetic radiations from affecting one’s physical body. It removes negativity, but will also rid the body of pollutants, bacteria, viruses and free radicals. It is the epitome of detoxifying.

Here are some other pictures I snapped at the gem show!

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Benefits of Reiki

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Improve and maintain health
We all have our own healing energy. We heal easier when our energy is high. But over time, we use up this energy. Reiki brings this healing energy back and supports the body’s natural ability to heal.
Studies have proven that reiki helps patients heal faster and with less pain. It allows a normal healthy flow of energy to resume and washes away any negativity lodged in the body; hence, allowing the body to heal.
A growing number of physicians are recognizing the benefits of Reiki. In fact, studies show that about 15% of hospitals and medical facilities across the country have been offering this healing practice to help ease pain and speed recovery.

Cultivate more positive emotions
Reiki provides great relief during emotional distress. This healing practice allows you to let go of negative emotions and replaces them with feelings of trust, care and love. It improves your capacity for empathy and enhances your capability to love. Because of this, it helps strengthen personal relationships and opens you up to the people around you.

Relieve stress
​Stress reduction is one of the greatest benefits provided by reiki. The light touch of reiki provides a sense of calmness. It encourages you to let go of negative emotions, fear, anxiety and stress. 5 minutes of reiki a day can provide a calming, lasting benefit.

Interested in receiving the healing treatment or training of your own? Reach out to me and I can guide you in the right direction!